You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if...

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From the House of Wolfsberg



You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... People ask, when theylearn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if. When the pastor says,"I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering," five guys and two women stand up.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Opening day of deerseason is recognized as an official church holiday.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... A member of the churchrequests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain'tnever been in a hole it couldn't get out of."

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The choir is known asthe "OK Chorale".

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... In a congregation of500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Baptism is referred toas "branding".

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... High notes on theorgan set the dogs on the floor to howling.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... People think "rapture"is what you get when you lift something too heavy.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized washtub.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy Bob's Barbecue.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The collection platesare really hub caps from a '56 Chevy.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... Instead of a bell, youare called to service by a duck call.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The minister and hiswife drive matching pickup trucks.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... The communion wine is Boone's Farm "Tickled Pink".

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church if... "Thou shalt not covet"applies to hunting dogs, too.

You Know Your Church Is A Redneck Church ! if... The final words ofthe Benediction are, "Y'all come back now!! Ya Hear"+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++